I received yet another job rejection letter in the mail today. I'm starting to wonder if I should start lowering my standards to such things as 'waiter' and 'stock boy.' It's just so frustrating, because I HAD a really good job, and I did it really well, and I am qualified to do a lot of things...but alas, no degree.
I still don't regret quitting my last job. I got out while I still had a sliver of soul left. I'm thinking this unemployment gig will chew up what's left, or at least my shriveling self esteem will.
It's very snowy. (Yes, a change of subject is happening...it's called self-preservation.) We probably got about 8 inches of the white stuff the other day. A lot of people were bitching about it, you know, "I hate drivin' in it," or "It makes your feet cold." But I love the snow. Makes it seem okay I'm not leaving my house.
Winter was such a fun time when I was a kid. Do kids still do fun stuff in the snow? I'm so out of touch. We had some really great sledding hills in my neighborhood...wasn't just once I got the wind knocked out of me from slamming down hard on a good jumpin' hill. One time I thought for sure we killed my baby sister when she hit so hard she didn't breathe for what seemed like 5 minutes. First thing out of my mouth of course was, "Don't tell mom."
One of our favorite sledding spots was called "The Tunnel." It was an old culvert which ran under Burlington hill, across from the prison. In the winter it would freeze over, producing a very fast, and probably quite dangerous luge.
We always walked up the hill through the tunnel, which was pitch black inside in the evenings. It probably would've been easier to just walk above ground on the hill, but part of the excitement was walking up in the darkness.
Also, you wanted to make sure there were no animals, especially dead ones. One time my sister M. ran into a dead possum going down and it flung up onto her lap. I was nearly deafened by the screams comming out of her mouth. They reverberated against the cold concrete walls of "The Tunnel."
One of my favorite Winters as a kid we had a terrible ice storm. Nothing quite as dramatic as the film with the same title. As far as I know, my parents didn't throw any key parties...Ugh, the thought.
Our street in front of our house was old cobblestone, and that winter it rained about 2 inches of ice in one night. The roads were impossible to drive on, and so much of the town was shut down...including the schools. The kids in the neighborhood dug out their ice skates and for three days straight skated on the front street.
When the ice melted, it seemed almost strange to see cars driving on the roads again. It was a skating rink.
It was also winter when I discovered why some fences were called electric. Goes right through the gloves it does. An older friend of mine told me my stocking hat spun around in the air a few times when I grabbed that fence. Luckily he got me to laugh, so I wouldn't have to cry in front of 'the boys.'
Above all, the most favorite thing to do in the snow when I was a kid was something we called, "moon jumpin'." It's quite easy to do, the only equipment you need is a big 'ol pair of moon boots and big hill with lots of trees and lots of snow. You start at the top, and you jump all the way down, using the trees to grab onto, so you don't fall face first in the snow. Which you do, and that's okay, because some times you fall face first.
Maybe that's what I need...some moon boots.
Saturday, January 08, 2005
Monday, January 03, 2005
My Happy New Year Annoyance List.
Well, it's the new year. Nope, still feels the same. I've gotten over thinking, "this year will be different," as if, by some miracle, everything is going to change. And I wouldn't want everything to change anyway. I'm quite satisfied with most aspects of my life, except the unemployed part. That is something I would like to see change soon, as in last year.
It would be nice if this year I was less annoyed by people. Not any particular person, just people in general. I'm sure this annoyance is just a by-product of actually following politics over the last year. I still can't believe Bush is our president for four more years.
What annoys me most about people is their ability to front out their fears, or rather their hates. It's so funny we exchange those words, "Bobby Jo doesn't hate queers, his lack of understanding just causes fear in him."
The last time I was afraid of something I didn't punch it in the face. No, I reserve actions like that for stuff I hate.
It seems as if we're afraid to say people hate other people for idiotic reasons. "What other reasons can there be?" You might ask. We want to make it seem like it's something which can be cured through understanding and exposure. And I suppose in most cases this is true. A mother can easily learn to empathize with her gay son, no matter her religious views or social misunderstandings. However, Vern the angry drunk redneck would probably beat the shit out of his best bud in the world for taking a gander at his member while standing stall to stall...or they will run off having a secret bathroom romp, but even that can end in a bloodbath when the guilt kicks in. Happens in prisons all the time...the soap is dropped, there's a little prison love, and then a beating to make everyone feel like men, or bitches, again. God help Martha Stewart.
I don't think views on homosexuality are going to change overall any time soon. I just don't think gays and lesbians are as vocal about equality as they were in the late 60s and the 70s, but then no one is really vocal about anything like they were during the protest times. Think how much the suffrage movement went through just to get women the right to vote. I see no difference in their struggle and the gay marriage debate. It's obviously not an equal deal, because gays are not seen as equal. They are still seen, by the majority, as sick people with an agenda to recruit. That's one thing the feminist movement didn't have going against them...people didn't believe women were trying to recruit men to be women.
The trait of blind patriotism is another major annoyance for me. It seems as if the middle American mentality is "Support the U.S, or get out of Dodge, or Detroit, or Dallas (would gladly get out of Dallas.) There's a majority of Americans who feel as if we have the right to spread democracy as if it were some global cure for oppression. These are the same people with four "support our troops," magnets on their cars. What eyesores. Magnets do not an American make.
I find nothing wrong with the idea of supporting our troops, or at least wishing they stay out of harms way, but the reality is I don't really support the war, and for some reason this has made me less of an American. We're supposed to encourage the down trodden to stand up and fight their own fights, be a model for the world. Going in with guns blasting and bombs dropping will never equate with freedom in my mind. I just can't go there. My cynicism hasn't killed the idealist, yet.
Onto religion...some of my best friends are Christians...but they don't use their beliefs as a weapon. For some reason, they have decided to listen to what Jesus taught, and I know, that's a crazy approach to Christianity, but hell it's works for them. And since they aren't telling me I'm going to burn in a pit of fire with all the other gay liberals, we remain friends. For some reason I just don't warm up to damnation.
People who claim to be such good Christians, who bring jell-o with carrot shavings to every church event, but judge, and judge, and judge, make my type 10 list for most annoying people. They would turn their back on a family member in need in a second if they felt they were full of sin, believing this as an act of tough love. They mistakingly believe there is some sort of spectrum of sin, as if some acts carry more sin points then others. A sin is a sin folks and we all do 'em. We're flawed, or we're perfect in our flaws. I tend to believe the old adage, "God doesn't make crap." It gets me through the tough times. I would never survive in Utah, that's all I can say.
Another annoyance...yes, there are more...is the gluttony of the very rich. Now, I'm sure my perspective here is jaded, because well, I'm poor. However, when I watch one of those Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous type shows I get really pissed off. For example Mr. P Diddy spent 500,000 dollars a week to rent out some fancy yacht over the Summer.
Now, I think if you've managed to earn millions you should live well. A nice house, nice cars, a pool, visits to the spa, you know pamper yourself. However, when you start spending 500,000 dollars a week on a yacht you're just crapping on the rest of humanity. This person has the chance to do so much good in the world, and they waste it on expensive food and to hire someone to stick a hose up their ass and flush it out once a week.
Why not give more back? Why not leave a legacy of giving? Why not stand up and make yourself a model of humanitarianism. We are not living up to our potential, because we feel as if once we have earned it, it's our right to spend every last dime on ourselves, unless we can get a damned good tax right-off.
But, seriously, if you're an extremely over-paid celebrity you haven't really earned anything. You entertain us, and granted in these times we need to be entertained, but you didn't raise us up, you didn't teach us a lesson, you didn't cure us of a disease, you didn't clean up a Tsunami. The people made you rich by buying your album or watching your crappy Summer movie, now give some back, dammit.
Okay, that's probably enough for my "things which annoy me list." I'm hoping it will change next year. Either the world has got to be a little more understanding and bit more full of the love, or I'm getting on some heavy anti-depressants and sleep walking through the end of my life.
Happy Late New Year.
It would be nice if this year I was less annoyed by people. Not any particular person, just people in general. I'm sure this annoyance is just a by-product of actually following politics over the last year. I still can't believe Bush is our president for four more years.
What annoys me most about people is their ability to front out their fears, or rather their hates. It's so funny we exchange those words, "Bobby Jo doesn't hate queers, his lack of understanding just causes fear in him."
The last time I was afraid of something I didn't punch it in the face. No, I reserve actions like that for stuff I hate.
It seems as if we're afraid to say people hate other people for idiotic reasons. "What other reasons can there be?" You might ask. We want to make it seem like it's something which can be cured through understanding and exposure. And I suppose in most cases this is true. A mother can easily learn to empathize with her gay son, no matter her religious views or social misunderstandings. However, Vern the angry drunk redneck would probably beat the shit out of his best bud in the world for taking a gander at his member while standing stall to stall...or they will run off having a secret bathroom romp, but even that can end in a bloodbath when the guilt kicks in. Happens in prisons all the time...the soap is dropped, there's a little prison love, and then a beating to make everyone feel like men, or bitches, again. God help Martha Stewart.
I don't think views on homosexuality are going to change overall any time soon. I just don't think gays and lesbians are as vocal about equality as they were in the late 60s and the 70s, but then no one is really vocal about anything like they were during the protest times. Think how much the suffrage movement went through just to get women the right to vote. I see no difference in their struggle and the gay marriage debate. It's obviously not an equal deal, because gays are not seen as equal. They are still seen, by the majority, as sick people with an agenda to recruit. That's one thing the feminist movement didn't have going against them...people didn't believe women were trying to recruit men to be women.
The trait of blind patriotism is another major annoyance for me. It seems as if the middle American mentality is "Support the U.S, or get out of Dodge, or Detroit, or Dallas (would gladly get out of Dallas.) There's a majority of Americans who feel as if we have the right to spread democracy as if it were some global cure for oppression. These are the same people with four "support our troops," magnets on their cars. What eyesores. Magnets do not an American make.
I find nothing wrong with the idea of supporting our troops, or at least wishing they stay out of harms way, but the reality is I don't really support the war, and for some reason this has made me less of an American. We're supposed to encourage the down trodden to stand up and fight their own fights, be a model for the world. Going in with guns blasting and bombs dropping will never equate with freedom in my mind. I just can't go there. My cynicism hasn't killed the idealist, yet.
Onto religion...some of my best friends are Christians...but they don't use their beliefs as a weapon. For some reason, they have decided to listen to what Jesus taught, and I know, that's a crazy approach to Christianity, but hell it's works for them. And since they aren't telling me I'm going to burn in a pit of fire with all the other gay liberals, we remain friends. For some reason I just don't warm up to damnation.
People who claim to be such good Christians, who bring jell-o with carrot shavings to every church event, but judge, and judge, and judge, make my type 10 list for most annoying people. They would turn their back on a family member in need in a second if they felt they were full of sin, believing this as an act of tough love. They mistakingly believe there is some sort of spectrum of sin, as if some acts carry more sin points then others. A sin is a sin folks and we all do 'em. We're flawed, or we're perfect in our flaws. I tend to believe the old adage, "God doesn't make crap." It gets me through the tough times. I would never survive in Utah, that's all I can say.
Another annoyance...yes, there are more...is the gluttony of the very rich. Now, I'm sure my perspective here is jaded, because well, I'm poor. However, when I watch one of those Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous type shows I get really pissed off. For example Mr. P Diddy spent 500,000 dollars a week to rent out some fancy yacht over the Summer.
Now, I think if you've managed to earn millions you should live well. A nice house, nice cars, a pool, visits to the spa, you know pamper yourself. However, when you start spending 500,000 dollars a week on a yacht you're just crapping on the rest of humanity. This person has the chance to do so much good in the world, and they waste it on expensive food and to hire someone to stick a hose up their ass and flush it out once a week.
Why not give more back? Why not leave a legacy of giving? Why not stand up and make yourself a model of humanitarianism. We are not living up to our potential, because we feel as if once we have earned it, it's our right to spend every last dime on ourselves, unless we can get a damned good tax right-off.
But, seriously, if you're an extremely over-paid celebrity you haven't really earned anything. You entertain us, and granted in these times we need to be entertained, but you didn't raise us up, you didn't teach us a lesson, you didn't cure us of a disease, you didn't clean up a Tsunami. The people made you rich by buying your album or watching your crappy Summer movie, now give some back, dammit.
Okay, that's probably enough for my "things which annoy me list." I'm hoping it will change next year. Either the world has got to be a little more understanding and bit more full of the love, or I'm getting on some heavy anti-depressants and sleep walking through the end of my life.
Happy Late New Year.
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