I have tried for a few months to get her to stay for a weekend. I thought it would be cool to stay up late with her watching bad T.V. and just talking about things I had forgotten. (I have forgotten, a lot...I think)
She just never seemed to find time. She works in St. Louis during the week and only comes home to Iowa on the weekends, and she can't drag herself away from the homestead and drive the hour and half to my place. There are too many dishes to wash, or clothes to launder, or carpets to vacuum, or grandkids to babysit, or...you get the idea. She is a manic grandmother. The kind who steals your glass of pop and starts to wash it before you are finished.
She has been here since last Tuesday. Not at my place the whole time, though. She has been at the Hospital with my stepfather.
My 3 month old niece, Lilly, was airlifted here with severe head trauma. Her father couldn't handle her screaming, so he hugged her real tight and shook her a bit to get her to stop. She did, and hasn't cried since.
He was only alone with her for an hour and 20 minutes.
Prognosis not so good. Friday evening they got someone in to the intensive care unit to babtize her. Sarah Mclaughlin's song, "Angel," was being played on CD over and over, or maybe only once. Felt the same.
Friday they said she probably wasn't going to make it, hence the baptismal. Folks in my family don't get babtized unless it's serious.
She had two hemmorages in her brain, both in the front and back. Both arms had breaks, and a few of her ribs were broken...and couple of them were healing, from a previous 'hug.' A machine was breathing for her.
Today the machine stopped breathing, and she picked up the beat. Her eyes are open, but the Doctors don't think she is seeing much. They are saying she is probably going to be blind.
The doctors are saying a lot of things. Not many of them good. We don't neccessarily listen to all of it.
So, my Mom is staying with me. We are bonding. She smokes a lot and loves to oraganize her pills.
Mom works for a doctor so has access to a lot of "samples." Her prescription drug use is up high enough that she now has a daily pill organizer. You know, one of those plastic conatainers labeled: M,T,W,TH,F,S,S.
12 pills a day. I know this, because she made me count them. She placed them in my hand. A bunch of pastel bits. No Vicaden or Muscle Relaxers, unfortunately.
They would really help.
I guess I will just take a dose of NyQuil and get some sleep.
People are fucked up. Me included....you, too probably. A NyQuil sleep lets me forget just how fucked up people are.
Despite all that...it's nice to have mom around.
1 comment:
now I have read all your blogs to date. I was going to watch er but got hooked reading your blogs instead. I have commented on your blogs three times tonight and I am pretty sure you are going to think I am stalking you soon. I'm just easily addicted to reading peoples blogs. I guess you could say I get addicted to things easily, accept drugs, I never got addicted to drugs though I rather enjoyed them at the time. Anyway this particular blog had me in tears. That poor little innicent baby girl. Being a mother of three the thought of such violance sickens me. Reading some of the things you have been through in your life I can why you have grown frustrated with society but I pray you do not let it harden your heart. It seems your heart is to good to waiste.
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