Today my friend, Brandon (I think he is a friend, maybe more on the cusp of acqaintance,) popped his head into my office before he donated plasma. He had his last final exam this morning, and he looked like it. He was extremely dishelved and his eyes were pretty sleepy. His girlfriend and he were going to take a trip to Omaha and he wanted to know if I would take care of his Bonsai while they were gone.
Now, this is one of those friendship indicators. Sort of like when someone asks you to pick them up from the airport. That can be a pretty big responsibility. Bonsai-sitting is a bit more of a hefty request, though. Lives hang in the balance. (heh heh)
So, I get home from work and there are five new bonsai sitting on the back patio, amongst my collection of eight. (His, for the most part look better...I hate him for that. Bonsai Envy...who knew?) My backyard looks like the reject set for Karate Kid IV.
Which reminds me I feel a seg way coming on...The other day at D's big keg party. Remember that...when my plants were drunkingly stomped on. I am not bitter...just really lame. Anyway, this drunk guy in an Abercrombie and Fitch muscle shirt and a visor (a fucking visor!) walked into my backyard and slurred, "Who's fuckin' Mr. Miagi?"
And he is a grad student in Molecular Biology. The perfect blend of Intelligence and Idiocy. Ain't human being great? punny.
Oh, yeah...so the POINT. I brought the two Fukian Tea trees into the house, because they're tropical, of course, and they can't be out in the cool night, yet, as anyone knows. (Bonsai snob) I thought it would be nice to put them on the window sill behind the kitchen sink out of the reach of Toby, the crazy Siamese (cat, not person.)
Well, this turned out to be a bad idea, because just a little bit ago while I was typing away thinking about how great a friend, or cuspual acquaintance, I was by taking on the great responsibility of Bonsai-sitting. I hear a combination crash and splash from the kitchen. Upon investigation, I sadly learned that one of the Tea Trees took a suicide dive into the kitchen sink full of soapy, greasy water. Luckily no limbs broke, but some of the soil was lost. As Milli Vanilli once sang, "Blame it on the rain, yeah."
So, I am going to be more careful.
Bonsai. That's hilarious.
Goin' to bed.
Peace.
1 comment:
ok you have to stop you are cracking me up!!! I do not know why I feel the need to keep commenting on your posts but your stories are funny and well written! You do realise that because of you I am getting nothing done all day and the dishes are piling up in my sink. Not to mention my kids are watching allot more TV. I promise that I am not some crazy person that is going to befriend you and then ask you to scare away the troles in my closet. I am just your avarage stay at home mom who really enjoys reading your blogs. Hope I am not freaking you out. I guess reading blogs is a good way to peer into someones life and be nosey with permission. I mean who would pass by someones diary and not want to read it. So thanks for filling up part of my days with halarious stories but please try to stop being so funny so I can get some things down around here!
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