She has had a rocky road in life. I believe her age group of kids were just coming to age the same time as our hometown was officially on the downward spiral. Police were patrolling the hallways at the Jr and High Schools. Most of the major factories were either closing down or laying off many. The streets were falling a part, and a general sense of desperation was felt throughout the town.
My sister dropped out her Freshman year of high school. In all actuality she never should have made it past 8th grade, but the teachers just passed her to pass the 'problem' on to the high school. Not the best proactive approach to education, in my opinion.
In Jr High, she began using drugs. Nothing major, at first, just the normal 'gateway' stuff: Weed, mushrooms, LSD (I remember one Christmas looking over at her while we were opening presents and her pupils were huge. She leaned over and whispered, "I am freaking out. I gotta get outta here." She was tripping. On Christmas.)
What would have been her freshman year she started using Meth. Meth is an indicator drug. It pops up whenever towns start to fall apart. It has been a huge problem here in the Midwest for years. But, since it is a white trash drug nothing has been done about it. Who feels sorry for white trash?
Meth fucked her up. She started out snorting, then putting it into bread and eating it, and finally shooting up. She usually shot up in her breast, so my Mother wouldn't find out.
I remember about a year and a half ago getting a call from my other sister saying L. had overdosed and was at the Emergency room. My older sister had found some needles under L.'s pillow and some 'powder' in a little baby baggy. (what else are those little baggies made for except drugs and pipe screens?)
I drove home as fast as I could. I got there in time to see a nurse wheeling my baby sister into an intensive care room. L. was all hunched over with a bit of drool hanging from her chin. I can't explain how helpless I felt. There was nothing I could do for her. She had to stop this when she wanted to. No one could ever make her. I only hoped that this would do it.
It didn't. She kept using for about another year. I am not really sure what it was that got her to quit. When a person reaches such a point, I don't think they can always pinpoint the catalyst. Maybe it was when her boyfriend's little brother, who was 10, found some of the meth and was doing it with his friends. His dad didn't mind.
Now, this is where my concern comes in. My baby sister is now working for the task force to bust meth dealers. Originally they were just going to go after her boyfriend's dad, but then they started getting involved in other cases, as well.
She makes an excellent task force agent, because everyone trusts her. They would never, in a million years believe she was setting them up. Hell, she had bought drugs from them for years.
Well, just recently the busts began. Her boyfriend's dad received a 110 year sentence and another one of the dealers got life. I think this is because he tried to outrun the cops in an airboat, but first he shot one of them. A few other busts went down, and now people are getting really paranoid. This paranoia coupled with the ability to figure out who bought from those guys last, is putting my Sis in some danger.
I am proud of her for doing what she did. I am not a big fan of the task force, because I think drugs, meth in particular, are a real social problem, and it needs to be addressed as such. Viewing it simply as a criminal issue is, in my opinion, not the right approach.
Meth is destroying so many lives, and they really truly need help. Their addiction is really a product of the decay of small town America. As long as we progress to technological fields, and Wal Marts steal away from small businesses, the little Midwestern towns are going to suffer economically. Folks will then try to find out ways to numb their pain and feelings of being lost. Meth eventually reveals itself.
This is something very important she is doing, despite my feeling about the task force. Those who sell Meth are helping to poison others. The sad thing is, they are pretty fucked up themselves. I never knew many meth dealers who didn't end up destroying their own lives.
It is amazing how much we hurt and the things we will do to numb the pain. I can feel my sister's pain just sitting in the same room with her. I can feel it right now. I just hope she can find her bread crumbs again. Her path is still there...her life still means so much. It means so much to me.
I just hope she is learning as she goes, because life is giving her such an opportunity to grow, and so many times we don't bother to take notes.
I love my baby sister.
Peace.
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