What was I thinking?!
Okay, so, I was walking to work the other morning...which incidentally has become quite the walk, spanning about six blocks, now. I know...how do I ever deal? The walk used to be much shorter until the street crews tore up this bridge and closed the sidewalk around the construction area...why am I getting into this?
So...I was walking to work, and I was on this rather long block...actually two blocks in length, when this baby bird flops down out of it's nest, squawking as it went. Well, it's timing couldn't' have been worse, 'cause just as it was going down a car was coming along and smacked it to the ground.
The image was gruesome, but I didn't have any time to mourn the loss of the babe, and I would've done it, too; I am just that kind of guy. "Overly-Sensitive" my Mom would say..."Gay" everyone else said.
As I was saying...I didn't have time to mourn because the mother Blue Jay decided I had something to do with the death of her baby. Always pointing fingers, those Blue Jays, never willing to take the blame themselves...most pretty birds are like that.
The Momma-Jay looked down at me from her limb and louldy screeched. I knew from past experiences with Blue-Jays that they weren't afraid to take on a man; one attacked a friend of mine when we were kids, climbing a tree. It left a little bloody hole where it tapped away at his little punkin' head.
The next thing I know the Momma-Jay had taken flight and begun a dive-bomb manuever towards my head. Luckily, I'm quite skilled in the art of bird-dodging, as my Parrot frequently attempts to fly onto my shoulder, usually when I'm just not in the mood to be shat on. So, I did one of my famous Matrix back bends as it swooped towards my face, missing me by mere centimeters.
This is when I decided I should move...quickly...but backwards so I could keep my eye on the enemy. Every few steps I made she would dive bomb me, and I would punch at the air towards her, doing my best to keep her from my face. She was quite the brave bitch! I probably looked like a total freak..walking backwards, punching at the air. Probably?
When I made it to the end of the block she was still chasing me, but now the Father had joined in on the hunt. Apparently, in her bird screeching she had conveyed to him that I had some how knocked their spawn into the street by means of telekinetic power. Those Jays are crazy.
The Father tried his best to make a dent in my head, too, but he was no match to my bird-defense. Eventually, they both gave up and flew away. I guess they decided to cut their losses.
So...yeah...that was a crazy walk to work. If ever you see a baby bird fall from the nest...be ready...be quick...cuz those Blue-Jays wanna kick your ass.
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