Feeling a bit surreal the past couple of days as if I am passing through someone else's dream, just waiting for them to wake up and me to disappear.
You know that feeling like "one foot in." I am functioning just fine, you know, I wake up, go to work, water the lawn on my lunch break, come home at night, smoke a little pot...you know I am basically fine.
Basically fine is such an odd state to be in.
I feel a little guilty that I am watching Spring creep in from the corners. I am enjoying the green come back to the grass. The plants building to burst and bloom...and there is some bloody war going on in a desert, windy-assed desert...and I am sucking up "life's beauty."
I am letting the Spring fever do that "Hey, look over there!" trick while we accidentally bomb a Maternity Hospital. And the fucked up thing is, I don't know who to blame, really. Whose shoulders does it weigh down on when we accidentally bomb women and children... babies? The folks dealing with the 'precision missile' equipment? The guy who figured out that days 'tactical move?' The entire Army? The President? The entire U.S.A? You? Me? The butterfly whose wings stirred up a breeze on a small island off the coast of Spain and...?
I just realized today (yeah, I'm a smart one.) that a very tiny percentage of Americans make the decisions that mold the image of America, and these folks are mostly old white guys...old rich white guys. Their voice, collectively is our voice, collectively. Are they speaking your words? 'Cause I am pretty damned sure they are not speaking mine or anybody else's that I know, for that matter.
This is such a worn out thing to say, but really, we need to figure out some other way to deal with our problems other than bombing the shit out of cities. When you think about it...it just doesn't make sense. I know that is some pretty trite shit, and its been said a million trillion googolplex times...but doesn't that say something? Doesn't the fact that they we have become jaded and cynical about the idea of 'easy peace' tell a little something about ourselves?
We are losing hope. We are making the easiest things in the world the most difficult, and almost inaccessible. We are losing site of the spirt and what is left of it has been distorted and materialized.
We have developed guidebooks for the soul because we have forgotten its language.
Okay, yeah, that was a ramblefest. Point of the story: Life is weird when there is a war going on.
Let's not become so detached that we lose site of the horrors that are going on. And folks, just 'cause we are Americans freeing a country from an unjust ruler...the death of women and children in a Maternity hospital is still blood on our nation. With our pride we wear also, this.
Peace.
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